It’s been quite some time since I wrote the first blog post on having an unplugged wedding. A lot has happened since then, some of which I’ve written about and some of it I can’t wait to share. Several weeks ago, perhaps even months ago I wrote about this new trend called “the Unplugged Wedding.” (read it here)
I mentioned that it was something I had done for my wedding (and it worked even better than I was expecting in terms of adding joy, a stronger sense of community, and a MUCH more enjoyable atmosphere). I wanted part two of this series to be from the perspective of those that have done an unplugged wedding and those that didn’t. So here goes:
My husband and I chose to ask our attendees to leave their cameras at home for a couple of reasons. One of those reasons is that we are both not so keen on the idea of tons of images hitting the internet before anyone gets home, and without us even knowing it. Neither one of us care to have images of ourselves posted for anyone and everyone to see and especially not if we haven’t even seen the photo first. So there’s that. Secondly, we truly wanted people to be engaged with our ceremony and truly present there with us. For those of you that were there you know we definitely had a very different ceremony, and as part of it we had an extended time of worship and response, much like our weekend church services. I can’t imagine what it would have been like had there been tons of flashes from cameras/phones going off everywhere. Our wedding was dimly lit with candles and (hopefully) had a very specific mood and vibe, at least that’s what we were going for. Here again, camera flashes and people getting up and down the whole time to ‘get the shot’ would have taken away from the ceremony and day in huge ways. Now being that I am a photographer, I also knew the importance of being able to allow the wedding photographer to simply do their job without distractions or interferences.
Here’s a shot from our wedding (notice how dark it was in there):
Fast forward four years later when two dear friends of mine decide that they’ll get married-and to my surprise on their wedding invitation I read this (or a version of this):
“We want you to be able to really enjoy our wedding day, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We’ve hired an amazing wedding photographer who will be capturing the way the wedding looks — and we’re inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels. We’re respectfully asking that everyone consider leaving all cameras and cell phones off. Of course we will be happy to share our wedding photos with you afterward!”
I had the honor of documenting their wedding and it was beyond amazing that I didn’t have to dodge other cameras. It was absolutely wonderful watching so many people actively engaged in the entire wedding day. Their wedding was set in the backyard of Katie’s parent’s Daniel Island home. It was the coolest backyard wedding that I had ever been to. They did a “first look” too! More on that in a later blog.
It really was amazing to watch people just be relaxed and in the moment.
Here’s a couple of photos of their glorious day:
Another wedding that I had the pleasure of photographing was my brother-n-love’s. Yes, that’s right, brother-n-love because brother-n-law just sounds so clinical. Travis and Sarah had a spectacular wedding out at Pepper Plantation. It really was a blast despite the pouring rain and having to use plan b for their ceremony.
Another problem it created was that my husband and I were asked to step away from enjoying our reception a few times to take pictures with guests. It got to a stressful point when we were trying to be alone for a minute and were followed by more people with cameras!
My advice to any couple planning their wedding would be to limit the number of cameras to a select few, preferably only your trusted hired photographer! You want to enjoy your day, and the photographer’s job is to capture your moments in a professional and unobtrusive way. Some guests, though kindly meant, can actually add more stress through bringing their own gear.”
As a wedding photographer I try my best to not be in the bride and groom’s faces all day. I have a very laid back approach to how I like to operate on a wedding day. There’s enough people pulling the B&G in so many directions that I’d like to not be another one of those people, except for when I have to during the formal portraits. As Sarah mentioned above, sometimes family and friends with cameras means being pulled away to take more photos. Your wedding day is already filled with tremendous joy, amazing experiences and an unexpected amount of stress-adding more cameras to that can end up being an unintended problem.
The heart of this post is to encourage you to think through your wedding day and to proceed in a way that lines up with your values. It’s okay to ask your guests to leave their cameras at home just like it’s okay to not hire a photographer and ask your guests to take tons of pictures from their point of view the whole time. Both can work and neither approach is right or wrong. In fact the guests with cameras aren’t doing anything wrong. If it’s not a problem for you, then great! Just make sure that what you choose to do lines up with your values and what you want for this amazingly special occasion. I have seen too many grooms and brides broadsided on their wedding day in a way that results in their joy being stolen and I don’t want that for you. Take some time to identify what you and your future spouse desire for that special day, make a plan, and go for it!!!
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